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Alternate methods of contacting/summoning me include:

• Chant "Queen of the Monkeys" five times into a mirror at 2:22 am
• Play a cassette with the Adventures in Odyssey episode "Broken Window" back to back for a full 72 hours
• Tie an odd number of differently patterned bandannas to a truck. Leave them there
• Speak ill of my friends. I will show up ready to FIGHT